Tuesday, March 24, 2009

it's ok to be ok

dear love,

today two things have been on my mind: it's ok to be ok, and sometimes you just gotta jump. to all the (maybe) five people who actually read my blog, let me put a disclaimer on this one: don't assume that you know what specific life event i'm talking about. i don't even really know what i'm talking about. all i know is that this has been on my mind today. with that said, let's get into it.

sometimes things happen. and they suck. and then they seem to get worse and worse and you have no idea how to get past this mountain of struggle before you. actually, maybe it's more like this: you're sitting on the wing of a plane, and all of a sudden, the plane takes off. (this was a real dream of mine by the way, love the symbolism). anyway, the more you wait to jump off, the higher you get, and the worse it will feel. you are so scared to jump, but you have to do it soon, or else it will be too late. 

so when things happen that situations where you have to jump, just do it. do it before you're so high in the sky that jumping will really hurt or maybe even kill you :) (but that's not really funny). 

let's bring this to real life. an opportunity presents itself like falling in love or a possibility to travel or move or make a big change in your life, and you are afraid to jump. the more you stress about your situation, the worse it will get. a real life situation: you want to talk to someone and become friends with them but you're afraid to look dumb or say the wrong thing. so you wait and wait and build it up in your mind, and your conscience tells you that you really should be befriending that certain person. but you tell yourself, laterlaterlater and then it never really gets done because all the waiting has made it harder. or this: you want to make an improvement on yourself (your thinking, your habits, your lifestyle, etc.) but you just keep telling yourself that you're too scared, or not ready. sooner or later those convictions of change and goodness fade into the backdrop and are no longer likely to happen. acting on those days where everything makes sense, seizing that moment to become better is where real change happens. last example: having your heart broken, your world betrayed, or having your soul desecrated. these times of grief are so painful, and no human being escapes this world without them. while i agree that allowing yourself to feel and be sad or a while is fine and even healthy, there comes a point where you just need to JUMP. and be ok. and thrive. jump when you're ready of course, but please, do jump. don't live your life thinking you will just get over it tomorrow, or even worse, forgetting about the problem itself. think about it, deal with it, find someone you trust, and then when you are ready, take the jump and be ok. 

on to my last thought. when you are ok after something catastrophic in your life, it's ok to feel that way. people will try to tell you that you have to take 6 months to get over "a" and a whole year to finally rise above trial "b". not true. you decide. being ok after a trial is ok. i just wanted you to know that, love, so that you can remember that life is beautiful. 

2 comments:

  1. paige this is beautiful. i am copying it and keeping it in a file marked: brilliant things people have said to me. the plane analogy is so true. and the fear is sometimes that real, sometimes that catastrophic, sometimes that completely debilitating. thank you for your words of perfect clarity.

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  2. hhmmm... i have sometime felt this way about school. the more and more i get into it the more i fear the choice to change is too high of a jump to make. too deep into whatever choices have brought me to where i am. maybe i just want to do something completely different all of the sudden... become a pilot (not to match your analogy, but for realsies)... or a genealogist... or maybe just build a sailboat and spend my life floating between the isles of the south pacific learning languages and helping people... or maybe just follow my childhood dreams of being an engineer. i even dressed up as one for halloween (yes, that wretched holiday) when i couldn't have been 8 years old even. anyway, at this point the plane is soaring and the choice was made too long ago to change... or is it?

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