another confession

dear love,

i used to be a little obsessed with watching oprah...there, i said it! i don't really know why and how the obsession started, but it began some time during high school. when my parents got tivo, i would come home from practice and chill on the couch and check out what oprah had going on for the day. i have to admit, i think she helped me become a better person. here are some things i've learned from oprah winfrey: (let me just say that i'm kinda joking and kinda not here)

• there are lots of sexual predators. don't trust just anyone with your children.
• people look a lot better on her show than when the cameras surprise them at their houses. makeovers? mmhmm.
• she did shows about eating disorders and all kinds of other issues specific to the teenage years. i was really scared from the pictures and interviews with anorexic and bulimic people.
• i think i kinda learned to love myself more. appreciate who i am. (i don't know?!)

anyway, the list goes on. my point is, i went through a little time period where oprah was a dear friend of mine. we hung out after school and sometimes even on weekend nights (nerd!). my freshman year of college, i actually kind of attempted to schedule my classes to not be a 4:00 so that i could chill a little by the tv and see what oprah had to say that day. the past few years i have grown less and less attached. it's all apart of a healthy evolving relationship.

today, however, i find myself at work during the time that oprah is on. i'm finding myself wanting to be home so that i can watch oprah...out of nowhere! what the?

guess what?

dear LOVE,

so i haven't written on my blog in for-e-ver (said like the classic sandlot boys) because i've only had one thing on my mind lately and it's been a little bit of a secret. but now it's not a secret anymore and i'm going to shout it on the roof tops, i tell ya!

I AM GOING TO BE MRS. PAIGE SMATHERS. that's right, i'm engaged! it happened officially last tuesday night and it was perfect. he proposed where we met last august on one knee and everything. the sun was setting behind mount nebo and the rest of the scenery was this beautiful shade of deep green from all the rain we've been getting. he said this cute little speech and we both just soaked the moment in. it was perfect!

spelunking

dear love,

a few days ago, i went spelunking. that's right, spelunking. it was such a thrill and super scary but i was a little bit proud of myself that i did it!

spe·lunk·er (sp -l ng k r, sp l ng -). n. One who explores caves chiefly as a hobby; a caver. i.e. paige henry.

this wasn't some cave you pay money to go in and walk around with pretty lights and see the cool things caves had to offer. oh no, this cave was in the side of a mountain where it was obvious only a few people had ever really seen before. the cave was suuuuper narrow. we had to squeeze through a couple of extremely tight spots. we're talking one more pound on me and i wouldn't have made it through. for a while all we could do was have our buns on one wall and our feet on the other and just shimmy our way completely vertical for about 25 feet. and then we finally reached a place where you couldn't go any further and we knew we had conquered the cave!

happy future mother's day!

your heart

dear love,

sometimes you give someone a piece of your heart on a pretty silver platter. it's the scariest thing because that person could do anything they want with something that is so intimately yours and yours only. you hand it over apprehensively, with one hand halfway covering your eyes so you can still see a little out of the cracks your fingers make. you sit and wait once it's handed over, you search the person's face for any indication of what is going to happen to that part of you that you just offered them. will it be squashed or used or cheated on or taken advantage of? or will it be listened to, loved, nurtured, and comforted?

sometimes people exceed your expectations. sometimes they take the piece of your heart you gave them and wrap their arms around you and tell you that everything is going to be okay.

grades

dear love,

please let me just vent about something. don't judge me and think i'm crazy...just go with it.

i took my very last religion class ever this last semester. i liked it and everything but i guess i didn't really study enough or take it seriously enough (what's new?) i knew my grade was pretty borderline B+ A- but i figured it should be just fine. when i checked my grades i got a B+ in the class and checked the percentage on blackboard. okay SERIOUSLY my grade calculated out to be an 89.85%. i didn't worry too much because i figured i would just talk to the teacher and he would see that was silly and that i should get an A-. i emailed both the ta and the teacher and just barely got a response back from the ta which read: "please see the syllabus for grade cut offs" and THAT WAS ALL HE SAID. if i wasn't mad before i was now. c'mon BYU religion classes, get a freakin grip on reality. i went to class every single day except one, did the readings and the journals every single time, participated regularly, and if i had gotten one more point out of like 750 my grade would be over 90%. stupid and dumb.

okay i feel better now.

musical moment

dear love,

ok so here's the thing. i hardly ever really play my guitar for big groups of people, in fact, tonight was only the second time i've ever done it. that's right, the BYU 236th ward had a talent show tonight and i sang a little song and it was fun.

picking the song was difficult, but after input from kath, my sister, and a few others, i chose this one. india arie is my favorite artist in the entire world. i've seen her in concert three times and im slightly obsessed. so i went with one of her songs and it all turned out okay in the end.

i want to give a few shout outs to some amazing performances.

• carolyn on the guitar—free fallin has never sounded better. perhaps a private concert to lull me to sleep in the near future?
• ariel—okay seriously?? the words you sang were B E A U T I F U L and wow, you can siiiing!
• shane—boy's got MOVES.
• taj—love the videos. especially the mustache one. (see video below).
• kath—i know you technically didn't perform, but your comments were classic throughout the show, and it wouldn't have been the same without you.

so yay for me being brave! oh and thank you to the august rush man who made a surprise guest appearance at our very own ward talent show. you rocked!