ok seriously

dear love,

i was walking home from work the other day and i realized i REALLY had to go pee. like, there was not going to be a way to make it home. so i stopped in the JSB on my way back and ran to the bathroom. on my way, i saw this:

i did a double take and didn't give it the attention it deserved because i had to pee so bad. but when i got out of the bathroom i snapped the pic and i just want to say a few things about to this girl, whoever she may be.

first i would say, "hi. how are you? are things going okay in your life?" then after a little small talk i would dig deeper, you know, get to the core of who she is. "so when you were studying that day, what exactly was going through your mind? did you just get new undies and you wanted to show them off to the world? or maybe you thought boys would totally dig the posish (pronounced 'puh-zish', emphasis on the 'zish') you were laying down in? or maybe it was just comfy and you had no idea how suggestive it looked." after we became best friends, i would kindly tell her that she should probably not do that anymore. the end.