musical moment

dear love,

ok so here's the thing. i hardly ever really play my guitar for big groups of people, in fact, tonight was only the second time i've ever done it. that's right, the BYU 236th ward had a talent show tonight and i sang a little song and it was fun.

picking the song was difficult, but after input from kath, my sister, and a few others, i chose this one. india arie is my favorite artist in the entire world. i've seen her in concert three times and im slightly obsessed. so i went with one of her songs and it all turned out okay in the end.

i want to give a few shout outs to some amazing performances.

• carolyn on the guitar—free fallin has never sounded better. perhaps a private concert to lull me to sleep in the near future?
• ariel—okay seriously?? the words you sang were B E A U T I F U L and wow, you can siiiing!
• shane—boy's got MOVES.
• taj—love the videos. especially the mustache one. (see video below).
• kath—i know you technically didn't perform, but your comments were classic throughout the show, and it wouldn't have been the same without you.

so yay for me being brave! oh and thank you to the august rush man who made a surprise guest appearance at our very own ward talent show. you rocked!

FEMULLET

dear love,

it was a normal thursday afternoon. i had just gotten out of my clinical class and i was on my way outside for my biweekly 30 minute people watching session. the next thing i knew, i was staring at one of the most amazing sights i have ever seen. this fe-mullet.

at first i panicked because i knew i didn't have my camera with me. but then i remembered that my phone has a camera on it, so the next thing i knew i was on my way, phone in hand, ready for some serious stalking. i decided it was too weird to hold my phone up so that she could see me taking the picture, so i took a risk and held the phone at my leg and took the creeper shot that way, hoping i would have her in the frame. i looked at the picture, overjoyed with the results. not only did i get the full body shot, BUT the wind picked up right at the moment i snapped it. e-p-i-c.

i laughed literally for a half hour straight. by myself. i had to pretend i was on the phone so that people wouldn't stare.

some lingering questions:

• who cuts hair such as this?
• how do i become that awesome?
• how is not an "extreme hairstyle" that would usually be banned from BYU campus?
• when she wakes up in the morning, does she really think, "yep!! i'm looking good!" ???
• how do i become her friend?

i've decided to frame this picture and put it up on my wall next to the other photo i have. (the really crazy man and wife(?) that hangs proudly in our living room). because my lovely roommates always tell people that those crazy-looking people are my parents, a friend suggested that i tell people that this mullet woman is my twin sister who plays softball.

this one's for you, cort. "WHAT A PLAY!!!"

a realization resolution

dear love,

it's been a really long time since i last wrote on my blog. here goes my best attempt.

something that's been on my mind lately is understanding why i have such a hard time trying new things. examples: my first time i tried playing golf, i was in tears by the end of the second hole. i kept swinging and missing and was sooooo frustrated. i was scared to even try and then when i wasn't good, i just wanted to give up. i guess i just want to be good at everything i do. another example is my dance class. i am absolutely terrified of the entire scene—it's completely uncomfortable. first of all, you have to ask people to dance and hold sweaty guys' hands, and you have to deal with the people who have been dancing their entire lives and are waaaay better than you and intimidating. these two examples are things that i have actually tried to do after much self-convincing, but it makes me REALLY uncomfortable.

so here's the catch. i've realized that if i could boil it all down to one thing it would be fear. i'm flat-out scared to try new things. i'm scared i will look dumb, not be able to do it, or just fail altogether. this realization was a surprising one for me because i don't see myself as really being scared of stuff like that. but i think that there's definitely an element of fear related to the things i never actually try.

i'm going to fix this. i'm telling myself that i am going to try new things and recognize that i might be scared but i'm going to do it anyway. i heard this great quote once: "if you want things to happen that have never happened before you have to do things you've never done before." i'm going to do things i've never done before and i'm not going to let fear get in my way. and i'm going to be awesome. done and done.